Nerves

I tend to be a very nervous individual when it comes to certain things. Sure, I try not to let it show on the outside, but on the inside, its all butterflies. One of the things that gets the nerves going, is heading back to work after a 6 month hiatus. I'm just worried about little dumb things like paperwork. I hate paperwork and I always worry that I'm going to miss something. But here goes nothings, I just gotta jump in with both feet.

Wish me luck.

Life in a Song

Back when I was just a baby Christian, I was really into Casting Crowns. I still like their music, but I don't listen to it nearly as much as I once did. Last night, I was going through my music and came across my Casting Crowns selection, well, nostalgia got the best of me and before I knew it, I was listening to them. One song in particular, just really sums up my life right now:

Praise You in This Storm

by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down 

and wiped our tears away, 

stepped in and saved the day. 

But once again, I say amen 

and it's still raining 

as the thunder rolls 

I barely hear You whisper through the rain, 

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls 

I raise my hands and praise 

the God who gives and takes away. 

Chorus: 

And I'll praise you in this storm 

and I will lift my hands 

for You are who You are 

no matter where I am 

and every tear I've cried 

You hold in your hand 

You never left my side 

and though my heart is torn 

I will praise You in this storm 

I remember when I stumbled in the wind 

You heard my cry to You

and raised me up again 

my strength is almost gone how can I carry on 

if I can't find You 

and as the thunder rolls 

I barely hear You whisper through the rain 

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls 

I raise my hands and praise 

the God who gives and takes away 

Chorus 

I lift my eyes onto the hills 

where does my help come from? 

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth 

I lift my eyes onto the hills 

where does my help come from? 

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth 

Chorus 

Me, in a nutshell.

Amen.

Hehe and LOL

Stacy London, from What Not to Wear, is on the Today show this morning talking about pants. 

She just said, "cameltoe." *snicker* The host was all like, "uhh...*awkward glance at the camera* ok." lol

But as for a more substantial post, I had a doctors appointment today. I hate doctors. I love medicine, but I hate doctors. I am such a bad patient. I don't like doctors that are super fast and have an "in and out" mentality. I also don't like doctors that belittle me; "Oh he's only 19, I must talk to him like he's 12." I don't expect them to know that I'm am EMT, and have slightly more medical knowledge and an ability to understand medical things a bit more than Joe Public, but still, thats no reason to coddle me. 

Anyway, I blame my mom, both of our BP's shoot up when we go see the doctor.

But yea, after Christmas, and before RADIATE, I went to my GP b/c I was having abdominal "discomfort." Now, not anything gross or anything, but just like a muscle spasm. LUQ for anyone who cares, but it was just like a pulsing or a twitching. So my GP said everything felt fine and she said she didn't think it was a AAA (Google it if you wish) which was good, but she ordered an ultrasound. 2 days later I go and get an ultrasound, they didn't see anything wrong with what I was complaining about, but they saw that my right kidney was enlarged.

*enter urologist*

My Dad, bless him, goes with me to the urologist this morning, I suppose for moral support. But oh, no, he wants to go in the room with me and everything. I'm like, "No Dad, really, its okay." (Again with the belittling and not thinking that I'm fully capable of explaining to the doctor what is typed up in front of him.) So long story short, the doctor feels my kidney areas or whatever, and then explains what he wants to do...to my Dad. Doesn't explain the procedure that is being done to ME, to me. He explains it to my Dad. Golly gee Doc! Thanks for that! Even when I ASK intellegent questions that CLEARLY show that I know SOMETHING about what's going on, I just get polite smiles and simple words. But anyway, I leave with an order for a CT scan next Friday. He doesn't think its anything serious, but the CT scan should just make sure everything is functioning okay and stuff.

So yea, thats been my life since Christmas. Obviously this was more of a rant then anything. There have been many good things going on lately as well : ) More on that later.

I'm leaving for MA on Sunday and will be back Thursday. Might have internet, might not.

Peace out, cub scout.

Happy Birthday Jesus!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas!!!!

Psalms

Sarah, 

You are right, Psalms are awesome.

Don't let it go to your head.

P.S.

I got this email today from one of my Young Life-ers and it had a link to this website that is devoted to using SCRIPTURE to DEFEND these really gross sexual acts. It totally twists the Bible around into something its not.

The Devil is real, he is out there, and he has a website.

I’m begging You to be my escape.

Hi,

So I've hit the point in the semester where I don't want to do this whole "higher education" thing anymore. It has hit every semester except for the one I did at HCC. I just don't want to be in college any more, I just don't want to be here anymore. I have advising today at 330, and as I was looking over just how much I need to do before I can even get into the respiratory program...its just too much. I'm not one to freak out over taking time to get shit done, but its just so overwhelming. Respiratory only takes accepts applicants in the Fall semester, and since I'm already behind on credits, that means an extra semester here. Again, I'm not one to freak out just because I have another semester of learnin', I love to learn. But its just discouraging. I already know that I suck at math, and Stats isn't going so well right now, and then I have another math to take after this one. I work hard, I do, but it just never clicks.

But then again, who knows exactly what I have to take anyway. There are 2 reports online that have conflicting information on them regarding what I have to take as gen ed's. Hopefully advising will take care of some of these inconsistencies today. But hey, advising has never gone well for me in the past. I do have a new advisor though, so who knows. All I know is that life is pretty crappy right now, with some sporadic laughter and happiness thrown in here and there. God has really been putting it on my heart lately to get away. Deep inside has always been that twinge to get away, to escape, but its grown. Last Thursday at Cru, it really just clicked that I need to get away, its not something that I want to do to escape my life and my problems; its something that I need to do to get back to relying on God for everything. This summer I was in such a good place in my walk with God; I was on a high, a mountaintop, life was wonderful. I realize that we can't live on that high, we aren't supposed to live on that high. Its good for us to experience that high every once in awhile though, so between the mountaintops, when we're in the valleys, we don't get discouraged. I just feel that ever since I left my mountaintop, I've been stuck in the valley.

I'm not as strong as I used to be, I'm not as strong as I want need to be. I just need to get away, get away to a place where I have to rely on God 100% of the time, not just the times where I have no where else to turn. I'm slipping and sliding, but I know I won't fall because He will catch me.

Lord send me a mountaintop.

Amen.

Interspecies Copulation

"An Antarctic fur seal has been observed trying to have sex with a king penguin.
The South African-based scientists who witnessed the incident say it is the most unusual case of mammal mating behaviour yet known. The incident, which lasted for 45 minutes and was caught on camera, is reported in the Journal of Ethology...Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear. But the scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal..The 100kg seal first subdued the 15kg penguin by lying on it.
The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail.The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully. After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report. Why a fur seal would indulge in such extreme sexual behaviour is unclear."

Full Story

Now that I have your attention, I guess a "real" post should follow. Life has been good lately, classes are challenging and tests are coming up, but I'm not really worried about them. I should be, but I'm not.

I finally finished reading the Twilight saga, and boy was it good! I cannot wait for the movie to come out!

Freshman BOB is going well, my guys are awesome and I really look forward to hanging out with them for the next 3 or so years.

Wyld Life is going good as well, we had our second "club" last friday night, good turn out. Not really sure how it went since I was only there for 45 minutes and then had to go see My Children! My Africa! Sarah Newton is now helping out with Wyld Life as a leader, and thats really exciting b/c she's awesome and the middle school girls need a female leader. lol

I have a midterm and test today (Thursday) and a paper due Friday in Theatre.

Ebay is addictive. I wasted a few hours online today just finding stuff...stuff like this:

Time for bed.