Uggghhhhh

So I feel like I've been hit by a very large truck. Every joint on my body hurts, from the hairs on my head, to the tips of my toes. I have no clue if I have the flu, or just a killer cold. All I know is that its now been 1 week since I've been sick and its about time that I get better. The only thing that keeps me going is copious amounts of ibprofin and water.

Enough of the pity party, Laura and I are going to see Mitch preform in his school play of Beauty and the Beast tonight!! It's just a dress rehearsal because we won't be in town for the actual show nights, but it should still be fun : )

I have so many projects to do this month its insane! Basically I have something due every week of this month, and I have no weekends to do it. This weekend is North Bay, the following weekend is CRU retreat. And then I'm sure that there are other things going on too. Ugh. lol.

I need to go and read for english and probably find Sudafed.

Spring Break '08

What can I say? Spring break was one of the most amazing and rewarding things that I've ever done.

We (Brad, Kevin P, Kevin B, and me) left from Salisbury around 330 Friday afternoon and began our 21 hour journey to Florida. After a quick stop at Brad's house for him to pack and for us to eat, we roll up to College Park at 8 and get on the bus with the Jersey kids at 930. I slept from Virginia to South Carolina until we had to stop at 4am to switch drivers, and then I slept again from the driver switch to Georgia when we stopped for breakfast at Cracker Barrel. After breakfast I didn't sleep much the rest of the way. We were stuck in stand-still traffic behind an accident on the interstate somewhere in Florida. Finally we get to Panama City Beach and to the resort around 5pm, 21 hours after we left College Park and 27 hours after we initially began our journey from Salisbury.

The entire week felt like it was just one big party. We woke up every morning and had our quiet time with God, and then made our way to the morning conference where we had worship and a few speakers. We were done by 1130 most mornings and had until 1 to eat lunch and do whatever. At 1pm all 850 of us Big Breakers headed out to our respective places on the 7.8 mile stretch of beach.

The first time that we headed out on the beach to talk to people, I was a bit nervous and skeptical about how things would go. But once I saw how open college kids were to hearing what we had to say, it was really encouraging. I am so glad that I got to go out with Tim on the first day, I really got to know him and he was totally fine with me just playing wingman until I was ready to initiate the convos. Every conversation that we had on the beach through the week was amazing. Yea, we had some people who didn't want to talk to us, but we also had people who were really eager to hear what we had to say.

I'm having a really hard time summing up this week into words, it was just beyond amazing. Us Salisbury guys really got to know each other a lot better this week and were just able to fellowship together which was awesome. I can honestly say that I made 27 genuine friends this week, and they all go to UMD. The college park kids are so chill and I'm seriously going to miss all of them and I cannot wait to see them again at the spring retreat and then again later that month : )

I guess to sum it up, it was truly one of the most spiritually amazing times of my life and I came back a changed man because of it.

For you...

This is for each and every one of you. Thank you.

I'm Home!!

Yesterday after class I packed up my things and came home to Harco! Yesterday really feels like it was split into two days, the Salisbury part, and the Harco part. My mom made a really good dinner, I missed her cooking. lol. Then I went up to the firehouse for a gang awareness drill, it was soooo good! Everything at the firehouse is basically the same. The only new things are that they're remodeling the bathrooms and are putting realllllly nice tile down. Its looking good! And we got a new TV in the crew room. Its a frickin huge big screen!!

My main agenda when going up there was to see the new ambo, but alas, it wasn't there : ( The drill on gangs was basically amazing, I learned a lot about the history and organization and what they're doing now.

I came home in a pretty good mood and just chilled, talked online for a bit and then just went to bed. Today I'm studying all day and just relaxing. Tomorrow I have a 1045AM haircut and then court at 130PM. I'm really really nervous/scared. Hopefully it'll all be okay.

Some songs that get me right now are:
1) Fear of Flying -A Rocket to the Moon
2) The Little Things -Colbie Caillat
3) It Matters to Me -Faith Hill
4) Our Time Now -Plain White T's
5) Fake It -Seether
6) Whatever it Takes -Lifehouse
7) I Think About You Everyday -A Rocket to the Moon
8) I'm Last Week - A Rocket to the Moon
9) Baby We're Invincible -A Rocket to the Moon
10) A Winner at a Losing Game -Rascal Flatts

Yesterday

So yesterday was a little weird.

I was sleeping peacefully up until the roommate rolled in around 0600. I just rolled over and fell back asleep until 0730 when I was awoken by Theresa's lovely voice on the other end of my cell phone calling me into work. I love my job, I really do, but when I haven't heard from an employer for over a month and then be woken up by them after a long night? It was definitely an "uggggg" moment.

So I get called into work from "whenever you can get here, until 7pm." I roll out of bed, shower, get dress and get into work by 0830. Our first call was just a manpower assist for another unit with a 300lb+ patient, we clear from that call and went to get breakfast from this really amazing place right down the road from the station. I got sausage gravy over biscuits with home fries...yummm : ) Our other calls were pretty routine and we got back to the station around 515 to learn that one of us has to drive the ALS unit from PRMC to Johns Hopkins. Ugh. So since my partner had friends coming in from another part of the state, I stepped up and went. After I canceled plans that I had for that night, I drive us from PRMC to Hopkins in about 2 hours and some change. 10-8 from 204 and my partner drives us back from Baltimore as I fall asleep and wake up somewhere around Easton.

After a 14.5 hour work day, I finally clock out and pick up Caren from Robins house and we go find some ice cream and then head up to 3H to chill. Caren falls asleep and Thomas, Alicia, Me, and Sarah just hang out until 330ish when I go home to sleep.

Yup. Today is supposed to be a study day...but minimal studying has been done. Well I'm going to go get a shower and then head to bible study at 5.

Bye.

What?

What the heck is this? What am I doing?

idk

I don't know how I feel right now. Normally I can pinpoint why I'm feeling down, but now, I just can't. I feel empty. I feel like something is missing from me. Its really crazy. I have no clue why I'm feeling this way, it just kinda started.

I don't like this.

Long Time, No See

Hey blogspot, its been awhile! I don't even know how to sum up everything that has been going on since the last time we talked. Certainly its been full of highs and lows, but there have just been so many that its hard to put it all to words. I feel like I've been growing up some lately. So I guess that's cool? I'm finding that I've been drifting away from certain friends, and growing in my relationships with new friends. Its not that I want to completely cut myself off from those friends, its just that I've realized that they have a tendency to hold me back in my walk with God. Its just the little things that they do and say that start to leach into my head, and pretty soon, I'm no better than them. Granted, they have been trying to change, and that's really awesome...but right now I just feel like I'm being led away from them. And speaking of being lead away, that's something that I've recently been trying to do more, give my life over to God and have Him lead me where ever he needs me.

Its just so hard sometimes to give your life over to Him. As humans we like to be in control all the time. But we can't serve two masters. You can't serve God, and serve your own desires at the same time. I've learned that God will never let you fall. While we all slip and trip every now and again, we will never fall so long as we give it all to God.

As always, this post really has no direction or flow, but I like it like that. Its me. Just me. Simple. But am I really that simple? I'd like to think so. But sometimes I just am so worried about pleasing the people I love, that I just screw things up. All I want is for the people around me to be happy. Nothing else matters. As long as they're happy, then I'm happy. Its a trait that I get from my mom. If I see that the people around me are happy, then I'm happy. But if the people around me are sad/upset/angry, then it gets me down too. I wear my heart on my sleeve, sometimes its good, but sometimes it just bites me in the butt.

I've been working a lot lately on being a leader. If you put me in a group situation with a task to get done, generally, I step up and take control. But there are situations where I'm just not sure how to take control. When I don't know what I can do to fix a problem, or how to make someone happy. When I can't read someone well enough to tell what mood they're in, why would I want to take control of that situation? For those situations, I just try to let it go and have them show me what they want. Have them show me how I can make it better. Its like I'm at a fork in the road and I just need their input as to which fork I take.

I need to go and meet Eck for lunch, but its been refreshing venting to you blogspot! Thanks : )