Long Time, No See

Hey blogspot, its been awhile! I don't even know how to sum up everything that has been going on since the last time we talked. Certainly its been full of highs and lows, but there have just been so many that its hard to put it all to words. I feel like I've been growing up some lately. So I guess that's cool? I'm finding that I've been drifting away from certain friends, and growing in my relationships with new friends. Its not that I want to completely cut myself off from those friends, its just that I've realized that they have a tendency to hold me back in my walk with God. Its just the little things that they do and say that start to leach into my head, and pretty soon, I'm no better than them. Granted, they have been trying to change, and that's really awesome...but right now I just feel like I'm being led away from them. And speaking of being lead away, that's something that I've recently been trying to do more, give my life over to God and have Him lead me where ever he needs me.

Its just so hard sometimes to give your life over to Him. As humans we like to be in control all the time. But we can't serve two masters. You can't serve God, and serve your own desires at the same time. I've learned that God will never let you fall. While we all slip and trip every now and again, we will never fall so long as we give it all to God.

As always, this post really has no direction or flow, but I like it like that. Its me. Just me. Simple. But am I really that simple? I'd like to think so. But sometimes I just am so worried about pleasing the people I love, that I just screw things up. All I want is for the people around me to be happy. Nothing else matters. As long as they're happy, then I'm happy. Its a trait that I get from my mom. If I see that the people around me are happy, then I'm happy. But if the people around me are sad/upset/angry, then it gets me down too. I wear my heart on my sleeve, sometimes its good, but sometimes it just bites me in the butt.

I've been working a lot lately on being a leader. If you put me in a group situation with a task to get done, generally, I step up and take control. But there are situations where I'm just not sure how to take control. When I don't know what I can do to fix a problem, or how to make someone happy. When I can't read someone well enough to tell what mood they're in, why would I want to take control of that situation? For those situations, I just try to let it go and have them show me what they want. Have them show me how I can make it better. Its like I'm at a fork in the road and I just need their input as to which fork I take.

I need to go and meet Eck for lunch, but its been refreshing venting to you blogspot! Thanks : )