GC-4

2 dives this morning. Saw and touched a turtle just living his life : ) Came back and laid by the pool for a couple hours, got some sun! 

Dinner and family drama.

Watching tv for the past few hours.

Chill day tomorrow.

GC- 3

We didn't dive today, so I woke up at 1130 which was nice. I woke up fully expecting today to be a wash, they were calling for rain and cloudy skys all day. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the sun was shining! So I hurried and got my bathing suit on and headed down to the beach, popped my iPod on and laid around in the sun for a couple hours. Then we had lunch and went to Hell.

Hell is a tourist trap with it's own post office! Its based around these 1.5 million year old iron/rocky things that look like spikes in the ground...it basically looks like you'd imagine Hell to look like. So we hung out there for a bit, mailed some postcards from Hell (check the postmark!) and then headed to Dolphin Cove, where, duh, we saw dolphins! They were cool. 

Headed back to the condo and chilled until dinner. Watched Uncle Buck on tv and now I'm heading to bed. 2 dives in the AM.

Night!

Grand Cayman- Day 2

Today was a wash.

Woke up at 630 to go diving, the sun was out for about 10 minutes before it starting to pour. We get to the boat and it lets up, do 2 dives and make it back home. It rains again. It stops and we head into Georgetown and walked around the shops with the other tourists who came off the cruise ship that day. 

Nothing too exciting. 

I watched Up! It was good!

Hopefully tomorrow will be sunny! I doubt it though, its supposed to be crappy all week : (

Grand Cayman- Day 1

So I've decided to do daily journal entries while here in beautiful Grand Cayman. They'll all be about one day off, b/c I'll live the day, then blog about it. I don't want to leave anything out by blogging during the day and have something cool happen later! That wouldn't be fair to you! 

Day 1:

We (Mom and Dad) awake at 1Am after a few hours of sleep (I didn't sleep at all) and groggily make our way to Reagan International Airport in DC. It takes about 1 1/2 hours to get there and by the time we unload and park the car, its around 5AM. We strip, go through security, and then wait for a few minutes for our 6AM flight to Philadelphia. We get on a little rinky-dink commuter jet and 22 minutes later we're in Philly. We have 3 hours to kill until our next plane leaves, so we get some breakfast. 

Fast-forward to 1230 Cayman time (130 east coast time) and we step off the plane into 88 degree, 70% humidity Grand Cayman. We go through Immigration and Customs, have a bit of a fiasco with the rental car, and eventually get to our condo on Seven Mile Beach. I don't really remember what we did, b/c I had been up for 24 hours at this point, and it's all a blur. I know that my parents went out for a walk, and I was laying on the couch watching Dirty Jobs, it was around 730. The next thing I know, its 4Am and I'm fully clothed, in my bed. I change, and sleep until 830. Apparently, my parents went for their walk, I fall asleep and when they got back, I was passed out in my bed. I don't remember getting into bed. 

So that was Day 1! 

I'll blog about today, tomorrow!

Life Update

I want to be a paramedic. 

I'm going to be a paramedic.

I strive to be a flight paramedic.

...I just don't know where to start.

Reassurance

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'"

Isaiah 30:21

"Traditional" learning isn't for everyone

I'm really, really depressed.

Now, before you all freak out, its just me being retarded in chemistry. Why can't I pass BASIC chemistry? I already struck-out once, and I'm well on my way to striking out again. No matter what help I get, no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I pray, I am not understanding anything that we're doing in this god-forsaken class. Everyone says, "Oh, well you've already taken it once, it should be easier this time!" WRONG!! If anything, its harder! You have all of you past failures behind you, reminding you that you already failed this once before. 

It is just so discouraging when everyone around you is understanding the material, and you're not. I don't know what to do. I emailed my professor to see if I have any chance of passing this class. I hope I can just get a "C" and move on to the SECOND half of this class. Eff my life. 

I really love my major, I don't want to do anything else. I don't want to be a teacher, a philosopher, an engineer, an artist, an architect, a lawyer, a businessman, an accountant, and I sure as hell can't get into the nursing program. 

I'm not in school for the academics. I'm here because society says that I have to be. If I didn't need a bachelors degree to get a good paying job and to be "successful", then I would split like a banana. 

I love my friends, I can't even bear the thought of leaving here. Cru means so much to me, my friends are my world. But can I stay here when it may not be offering me anything anymore? Should I pursue studies elsewhere? Should I let this one class destroy my hopes and dreams? 

I hate this. 

I just want to go become a MSP trooper and do some time there, eventually work my way to becoming a flight paramedic. That would be my dream. Why aren't I chasing it? Well, for one, the current state of the MSP Aviation Command, it's on the fringe of being reformatted and radically changed. Also, I really don't want to be a police officer...I don't think. I just don't want to be shot, stabbed or otherwise maimed. 

I want to make a difference. I want to change the life of one person, every day. I want to be excited to go to work. I want to leave work feeling satisfied. I want to be recognized for what I do. I don't want to be at a desk. I want to make enough money to support a wife and family. 

I don't want to leave my family here, in Salisbury. 

Lord, help me. Show me the way, God, show me what You want me to do. Lord, I can't do this alone. I can't make life decisions by myself. I'm scared, God. I'm scared that I'm not going to know what You want me to do. I'm scared of failing in life. Lord give me the strength and the faith to know that without a doubt, You will not let me fail. Give me the courage to make the decisions that I have to make. Lord, make Your plans for me clear.

I love you Lord, I need you.

Amen.