Random Ramblings

I'm Still Alive!

2009-10-27T03:23:00.001-04:00

So I'm still alive! I found some of my old Xanga posts today and I think that I will be re-posting them over a stretch of time to give insight into my 2006-2007 self. Haha

We'll see how it goes. Really, I just want to delete my Xanga but there are some posts that I still enjoy looking back at, so I'll just re-post them here.

Independence Day!

2009-07-04T22:33:00.002-04:00

I had to work on this Independence Day.

I went into work knowing that today wouldn't be a "normal" day. And I was right. We were the designated "parade unit". So what does that mean? We had to wash out ambo real good, then de-bug it. How do you de-bug? Well, you take a special chemical (which I inhaled copious amounts of today) and apply it to the infested ara, then scrub with all your might to release the carcass from the paint.

After we cleaned our ambo, we had to go down to Kingsville and stage for that parade. We get to where we need to be, its 930AM and we hang out for a while, I think the parade started at 11AM. We awkwardly drive down the parade route, lights flashing (no siren though, this is a "silent" parade) and wave at people who are gathered on the streets. After we complete the circuit, we clear and get some Five Guys. It is such a BEAUTIFUL day outside, that me and by partner, Brittney, decide to eat our burgers outback of the Corporate Office on the grassy knoll. It was nice! Brit, having worked the previous day AND overnight, decides to go in and take a little nap. I go and do some SERIOUS de-bugging of the ambo and spend about an hour making that thing shine! So we have 2 hours till we need to be at our next parade, so I go inside and watch The Fantastic Four on tv.

4PM rolls around and we head to Bel Air to get ready for the next parade. We get to where Dispatch tells us to go, but thats not the correct place. Dispatch told us to go to the place the parade starts...but that isn't where we "stage" before hand. So we drive to a location, they check us off a list and we wait for about a half our. We then realize that we're not with the other fire apparatus, we're with the classic cars. So we key up Dispatch and are like, "uhh, we're where we're supposed to be, but we don't think this is right." So after some research, Dispatch tells us that we're supposed to be at the fire department. So we do a 3 point turn in a narrow street b/c we can't go forward since the road is shut down (the other ambo with us lost a mudflap in the process). We get to the fire department and they're getting ready to leave, we follow them to another location to find out that they don't have us on the list. So I'll spare you the details, but after many phone calls and conversations with officials, we decide to just join the end of the fire apparatus. Great.

So 7PM rolls around (we got here at 430PM mind you) and we line up, lights flashing) at the start of the parade. 8PM and we FINALLY get our turn to go down the parade route. It was ridiculous. The kids were really excited for the ambulance and the lights and many hollered "turn on your siren!" so of course I did! However, the siren has many different different sounds, depending on which position the switch is in. It also has a button called "Man" for manual mode for quick "yelps" of the siren and a "horn" button for the air horn. Well, my "Man" button got stuck in the down position and my quick "yelp" turned into an ear-splitting wail. I quickly fumbled with the siren and just cut off the power to it all together. Oops! But over all, it was good once we got moving. The time leading up to it was killer. 930PM rolls around and I finally get to clock out and go home. 13.5 hours worked. Unfortunately, my employer only recognizes 4 holidays...and the 4th of July isn't one of them. So 13.5 hours of straight pay is what I earned today for basically sitting in "traffic" for many hours.

It was fun though!

GC-5

2009-06-12T23:28:00.003-04:00

Yesterday we explored the island.

We drove from all 22 miles of it.

Laid by the pool for a bit.

Took some pictures.

GC-4

2009-06-11T00:17:00.003-04:00

2 dives this morning. Saw and touched a turtle just living his life : ) Came back and laid by the pool for a couple hours, got some sun!

Dinner and family drama.

Watching tv for the past few hours.

Chill day tomorrow.

GC- 3

2009-06-10T00:07:00.002-04:00

We didn't dive today, so I woke up at 1130 which was nice. I woke up fully expecting today to be a wash, they were calling for rain and cloudy skys all day. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the sun was shining! So I hurried and got my bathing suit on and headed down to the beach, popped my iPod on and laid around in the sun for a couple hours. Then we had lunch and went to Hell.

Hell is a tourist trap with it's own post office! Its based around these 1.5 million year old iron/rocky things that look like spikes in the ground...it basically looks like you'd imagine Hell to look like. So we hung out there for a bit, mailed some postcards from Hell (check the postmark!) and then headed to Dolphin Cove, where, duh, we saw dolphins! They were cool.

Headed back to the condo and chilled until dinner. Watched Uncle Buck on tv and now I'm heading to bed. 2 dives in the AM.

Night!

Grand Cayman- Day 2

2009-06-08T23:15:00.002-04:00

Today was a wash.

Woke up at 630 to go diving, the sun was out for about 10 minutes before it starting to pour. We get to the boat and it lets up, do 2 dives and make it back home. It rains again. It stops and we head into Georgetown and walked around the shops with the other tourists who came off the cruise ship that day.

Nothing too exciting.

I watched Up! It was good!

Hopefully tomorrow will be sunny! I doubt it though, its supposed to be crappy all week : (

Grand Cayman- Day 1

2009-06-07T19:15:00.002-04:00

So I've decided to do daily journal entries while here in beautiful Grand Cayman. They'll all be about one day off, b/c I'll live the day, then blog about it. I don't want to leave anything out by blogging during the day and have something cool happen later! That wouldn't be fair to you!

Day 1:

We (Mom and Dad) awake at 1Am after a few hours of sleep (I didn't sleep at all) and groggily make our way to Reagan International Airport in DC. It takes about 1 1/2 hours to get there and by the time we unload and park the car, its around 5AM. We strip, go through security, and then wait for a few minutes for our 6AM flight to Philadelphia. We get on a little rinky-dink commuter jet and 22 minutes later we're in Philly. We have 3 hours to kill until our next plane leaves, so we get some breakfast.

Fast-forward to 1230 Cayman time (130 east coast time) and we step off the plane into 88 degree, 70% humidity Grand Cayman. We go through Immigration and Customs, have a bit of a fiasco with the rental car, and eventually get to our condo on Seven Mile Beach. I don't really remember what we did, b/c I had been up for 24 hours at this point, and it's all a blur. I know that my parents went out for a walk, and I was laying on the couch watching Dirty Jobs, it was around 730. The next thing I know, its 4Am and I'm fully clothed, in my bed. I change, and sleep until 830. Apparently, my parents went for their walk, I fall asleep and when they got back, I was passed out in my bed. I don't remember getting into bed.

So that was Day 1!

I'll blog about today, tomorrow!

Life Update

2009-05-27T23:35:00.001-04:00

I want to be a paramedic.

I'm going to be a paramedic.

I strive to be a flight paramedic.

...I just don't know where to start.

Reassurance

2009-04-11T21:41:00.002-04:00

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'"

Isaiah 30:21

"Traditional" learning isn't for everyone

2009-03-27T11:34:00.002-04:00

I'm really, really depressed.

Now, before you all freak out, its just me being retarded in chemistry. Why can't I pass BASIC chemistry? I already struck-out once, and I'm well on my way to striking out again. No matter what help I get, no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I pray, I am not understanding anything that we're doing in this god-forsaken class. Everyone says, "Oh, well you've already taken it once, it should be easier this time!" WRONG!! If anything, its harder! You have all of you past failures behind you, reminding you that you already failed this once before.

It is just so discouraging when everyone around you is understanding the material, and you're not. I don't know what to do. I emailed my professor to see if I have any chance of passing this class. I hope I can just get a "C" and move on to the SECOND half of this class. Eff my life.

I really love my major, I don't want to do anything else. I don't want to be a teacher, a philosopher, an engineer, an artist, an architect, a lawyer, a businessman, an accountant, and I sure as hell can't get into the nursing program.

I'm not in school for the academics. I'm here because society says that I have to be. If I didn't need a bachelors degree to get a good paying job and to be "successful", then I would split like a banana.

I love my friends, I can't even bear the thought of leaving here. Cru means so much to me, my friends are my world. But can I stay here when it may not be offering me anything anymore? Should I pursue studies elsewhere? Should I let this one class destroy my hopes and dreams?

I hate this.

I just want to go become a MSP trooper and do some time there, eventually work my way to becoming a flight paramedic. That would be my dream. Why aren't I chasing it? Well, for one, the current state of the MSP Aviation Command, it's on the fringe of being reformatted and radically changed. Also, I really don't want to be a police officer...I don't think. I just don't want to be shot, stabbed or otherwise maimed.

I want to make a difference. I want to change the life of one person, every day. I want to be excited to go to work. I want to leave work feeling satisfied. I want to be recognized for what I do. I don't want to be at a desk. I want to make enough money to support a wife and family.

I don't want to leave my family here, in Salisbury.

Lord, help me. Show me the way, God, show me what You want me to do. Lord, I can't do this alone. I can't make life decisions by myself. I'm scared, God. I'm scared that I'm not going to know what You want me to do. I'm scared of failing in life. Lord give me the strength and the faith to know that without a doubt, You will not let me fail. Give me the courage to make the decisions that I have to make. Lord, make Your plans for me clear.

I love you Lord, I need you.

Amen.

Nerves

2009-02-20T08:34:00.002-05:00

I tend to be a very nervous individual when it comes to certain things. Sure, I try not to let it show on the outside, but on the inside, its all butterflies. One of the things that gets the nerves going, is heading back to work after a 6 month hiatus. I'm just worried about little dumb things like paperwork. I hate paperwork and I always worry that I'm going to miss something. But here goes nothings, I just gotta jump in with both feet.

Wish me luck.

Life in a Song

2009-02-12T13:47:00.002-05:00

Back when I was just a baby Christian, I was really into Casting Crowns. I still like their music, but I don't listen to it nearly as much as I once did. Last night, I was going through my music and came across my Casting Crowns selection, well, nostalgia got the best of me and before I knew it, I was listening to them. One song in particular, just really sums up my life right now:

Praise You in This Storm

by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

and it's still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:

And I'll praise you in this storm

and I will lift my hands

for You are who You are

no matter where I am

and every tear I've cried

You hold in your hand

You never left my side

and though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You

and raised me up again

my strength is almost gone how can I carry on

if I can't find You

and as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

Me, in a nutshell.

Amen.

Hehe and LOL

2009-01-09T09:52:00.003-05:00

Stacy London, from What Not to Wear, is on the Today show this morning talking about pants.

She just said, "cameltoe." *snicker* The host was all like, "uhh...*awkward glance at the camera* ok." lol

But as for a more substantial post, I had a doctors appointment today. I hate doctors. I love medicine, but I hate doctors. I am such a bad patient. I don't like doctors that are super fast and have an "in and out" mentality. I also don't like doctors that belittle me; "Oh he's only 19, I must talk to him like he's 12." I don't expect them to know that I'm am EMT, and have slightly more medical knowledge and an ability to understand medical things a bit more than Joe Public, but still, thats no reason to coddle me.

Anyway, I blame my mom, both of our BP's shoot up when we go see the doctor.

But yea, after Christmas, and before RADIATE, I went to my GP b/c I was having abdominal "discomfort." Now, not anything gross or anything, but just like a muscle spasm. LUQ for anyone who cares, but it was just like a pulsing or a twitching. So my GP said everything felt fine and she said she didn't think it was a AAA (Google it if you wish) which was good, but she ordered an ultrasound. 2 days later I go and get an ultrasound, they didn't see anything wrong with what I was complaining about, but they saw that my right kidney was enlarged.

*enter urologist*

My Dad, bless him, goes with me to the urologist this morning, I suppose for moral support. But oh, no, he wants to go in the room with me and everything. I'm like, "No Dad, really, its okay." (Again with the belittling and not thinking that I'm fully capable of explaining to the doctor what is typed up in front of him.) So long story short, the doctor feels my kidney areas or whatever, and then explains what he wants to do...to my Dad. Doesn't explain the procedure that is being done to ME, to me. He explains it to my Dad. Golly gee Doc! Thanks for that! Even when I ASK intellegent questions that CLEARLY show that I know SOMETHING about what's going on, I just get polite smiles and simple words. But anyway, I leave with an order for a CT scan next Friday. He doesn't think its anything serious, but the CT scan should just make sure everything is functioning okay and stuff.

So yea, thats been my life since Christmas. Obviously this was more of a rant then anything. There have been many good things going on lately as well : ) More on that later.

I'm leaving for MA on Sunday and will be back Thursday. Might have internet, might not.

Peace out, cub scout.

Happy Birthday Jesus!!!!!!!

2008-12-25T00:40:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas!!!!

Psalms

2008-12-03T11:10:00.002-05:00

Sarah,

You are right, Psalms are awesome.

Don't let it go to your head.

P.S.

I got this email today from one of my Young Life-ers and it had a link to this website that is devoted to using SCRIPTURE to DEFEND these really gross sexual acts. It totally twists the Bible around into something its not.

The Devil is real, he is out there, and he has a website.

I’m begging You to be my escape.

2008-10-28T14:04:00.004-04:00

Hi,

So I've hit the point in the semester where I don't want to do this whole "higher education" thing anymore. It has hit every semester except for the one I did at HCC. I just don't want to be in college any more, I just don't want to be here anymore. I have advising today at 330, and as I was looking over just how much I need to do before I can even get into the respiratory program...its just too much. I'm not one to freak out over taking time to get shit done, but its just so overwhelming. Respiratory only takes accepts applicants in the Fall semester, and since I'm already behind on credits, that means an extra semester here. Again, I'm not one to freak out just because I have another semester of learnin', I love to learn. But its just discouraging. I already know that I suck at math, and Stats isn't going so well right now, and then I have another math to take after this one. I work hard, I do, but it just never clicks.

But then again, who knows exactly what I have to take anyway. There are 2 reports online that have conflicting information on them regarding what I have to take as gen ed's. Hopefully advising will take care of some of these inconsistencies today. But hey, advising has never gone well for me in the past. I do have a new advisor though, so who knows. All I know is that life is pretty crappy right now, with some sporadic laughter and happiness thrown in here and there. God has really been putting it on my heart lately to get away. Deep inside has always been that twinge to get away, to escape, but its grown. Last Thursday at Cru, it really just clicked that I need to get away, its not something that I want to do to escape my life and my problems; its something that I need to do to get back to relying on God for everything. This summer I was in such a good place in my walk with God; I was on a high, a mountaintop, life was wonderful. I realize that we can't live on that high, we aren't supposed to live on that high. Its good for us to experience that high every once in awhile though, so between the mountaintops, when we're in the valleys, we don't get discouraged. I just feel that ever since I left my mountaintop, I've been stuck in the valley.

I'm not as strong as I used to be, I'm not as strong as I ~~want~~ need to be. I just need to get away, get away to a place where I have to rely on God 100% of the time, not just the times where I have no where else to turn. I'm slipping and sliding, but I know I won't fall because He will catch me.

Lord send me a mountaintop.

Amen.

Interspecies Copulation

2008-10-23T00:26:00.003-04:00

"An Antarctic fur seal has been observed trying to have sex with a king penguin.
The South African-based scientists who witnessed the incident say it is the most unusual case of mammal mating behaviour yet known. The incident, which lasted for 45 minutes and was caught on camera, is reported in the Journal of Ethology...Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear. But the scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal..The 100kg seal first subdued the 15kg penguin by lying on it.
The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail.The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully. After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report. Why a fur seal would indulge in such extreme sexual behaviour is unclear."

Full Story

Now that I have your attention, I guess a "real" post should follow. Life has been good lately, classes are challenging and tests are coming up, but I'm not really worried about them. I should be, but I'm not.

I finally finished reading the Twilight saga, and boy was it good! I cannot wait for the movie to come out!

Freshman BOB is going well, my guys are awesome and I really look forward to hanging out with them for the next 3 or so years.

Wyld Life is going good as well, we had our second "club" last friday night, good turn out. Not really sure how it went since I was only there for 45 minutes and then had to go see My Children! My Africa! Sarah Newton is now helping out with Wyld Life as a leader, and thats really exciting b/c she's awesome and the middle school girls need a female leader. lol

I have a midterm and test today (Thursday) and a paper due Friday in Theatre.

Ebay is addictive. I wasted a few hours online today just finding stuff...stuff like this:

Time for bed.

Eff

2008-10-16T18:39:00.001-04:00

Girls are dumb.

Missing!!!

2008-10-10T09:20:00.005-04:00

My bookbag with all my A&P books was lost last night in Holloway Hall. Any help in finding it would be appreciated : (

Fall Retreat!

2008-10-03T11:04:00.002-04:00

So this weekend is fall retreat at North Bay and I am so excited! This is my first fall retreat with Cru to North Bay, but not my first fall retreat to North Bay. lol. It'll be fun! Sadly though, I have to go home Saturday night after everything is over, b/c I have to be at the firehouse Sunday morning by 830 for a Hazmat class. So there is NO way that I'll get up earlier than I have to on Sunday morning, so instead of a 45 minute drive to the firehouse, I'll have a 5 minute drive, PLUS I get to see the fam and Emma! : )

I still need to pack...hmm. I just have so much to do today! I'm going to gym in a few minutes, and then I'll be done with classes today. I'm going to go study for my gym quiz.

Peace

Fall

2008-09-17T09:10:00.002-04:00

Fall, I'm feeling like the weather has finally broke and that Fall is going to stick around for a while. I just love fall. The feel, the smell, the sights. I feel like so many good things in my life have happened in the fall, so many good times. I'm sitting here in jeans, and a sweater studying for my A&P test with the windows open and listening to Jared Campbell, its just wonderful. There is a nice, light breeze blowing in the smells of a fireplace burning (one of my FAVORITE smells). Its just a good feeling, and good feelings are always a nice way to start a day. The only thing missing is a mug of hot chocolate or something. Yum.

Have a great day!

Well Hello

2008-09-13T16:30:00.003-04:00

So it has definitely been awhile since my last post. My apologies for that. School has been treating me well so far. This semester has defiantly been different than last year, and I think that is a good thing. I have made so many new friends, and I just feel like I've branched out more. I love my old friends still, and it does make me sad that I don't see them as much as I'd like, but its okay. I've realized that my fears of not finding a "group" to be apart of once the seniors graduate this year have gone. I have found my group, and thats comforting. Its really cool to have a group of peers that share similar, yet different beliefs, and be able to have conversations/arguments about religion and things, and walk away being closer with them. This year is going to be different. Its going to be good. I can feel it.

So...You're An Ambulance Driver?

2008-08-19T22:25:00.003-04:00

That is the question that I have gotten so tired of hearing.

Yea, I drive an ambulance. On a normal shift I take atleast 1 nap and drive over 200 miles. Sometimes I even get to go to playgrounds and parades, or even fairs. I get to drive fast and run red lights and stop signs every now and again. I get to go shopping and hang out at malls and stores, I even get to joke around and nearly pee my pants laughing. The kind of service I work for has me driving you're old decrepit ass around town, all at the expense of your insurance/medicare/medicaid provider who pays my 11 dollar an hour wages.

However, I don't just do the above mentioned activites. I love my job. I love being able to help someone who cannot help themselves. I enjoy that once in a blue moon occurrence of a true emergency call. I like helping nurses figure out why our patient's PO2 is so low when there isn't prior respiratory issues. Its fun to use my brain to get a 33 inch wide stretcher through a 32 inch wide door. I cherish when my patient looks me in the eyes and thanks me, or shakes my hand, or hugs me. And most of all, I like learning something new every time I go to work.

It's not like I just applied for this job and *bam* I got it. No, it doesn't work like that. To even get my EMT license I had to give up Tuesday and Thursday nights from 7-10pm for 6 months of senior year of high school. I had to tell friends that I couldn't hang out with them. It changed me, it changed the way I think and the way I look at things. I had to sacrifice a lot of things, many of which were social, just to get to the point I'm at today. Now this isn't a pitty party, its a plea. Next time I tell you that I just got off work and am really too tired to do anything, just take my word for it and please don't give me a guilt trip. You don't know what I've had to do at work. You don't know that I've had to drive lights and sirens against traffic from God's country just so I can get a very sick man to a higher level of care, with his wife in the passenger seat and his daughter in the back. You don't know that I've had to deal with stupid nurses and even dumber dispatchers all day. You don't know that I worked through lunch just so my patient wasn't left alone on the stretcher in the ER. You don't know, you simply don't. And you know what? It's okay. I don't expect you to. But please, just don't get on my back about canceling plans, or taking a raincheck. I know that me staying home isn't going to ruin your day, so please don't act like it. There will be other days and other plans, just please be patient and take me for my word.

Sincerely,
Scott L, EMT-B
AKA "Ambulance Driver"

Ugh

2008-08-18T21:37:00.002-04:00

I hate summer colds. I feel like crap. Work tomorrow 9-5. Peace.

Point of View

2008-07-25T20:23:00.003-04:00

The past 2 shifts at work I've had the privilege of having the same partner each time. Although we share different religious views, we have had some awesome religious conversations, and have had similar life experiences. Not to mention that we work well together. Well yesterday we had this one lady who was blind in one eye from having to escape from a house fire through a window, and the flames took her vision. She is a heavier lady, has many medical problems, the majority of which are rare. But as I was talking to her, she mentioned how blessed that she feels. She said that kids these days are getting themselves into so much trouble and things, that she is so glad that the 5 kids she has between her and her husband turned out well. They have steady jobs and great spouses and children. And it really just made me take a look at my own life and see how blessed I am. It opened my eyes to see that I really have nothing to be complaining about.

And as for my partner, just the conversations we've been able to have between the 24 hours total we've worked together are amazing. Its crazy how when you spend 12 hours sitting in an automobile with someone, how much you can open up to one another. And he said that the more he learns about Christianity and God, that the more he wants to believe again. So I'm prayerful about the conversations that we may have in the future. We're supposed to go shooting sometime, so we'll see what God has planned for this friendship.

Tonight I still need to pack for Rockbridge. I'm so nervous and unprepared. This trip is so disorganized on so many levels, that I can't begin to describe. The kids are awesome and I'm psyched to go to camp, I'm just worried that I'm going to muck things up being a leader. I don't think that I'll be terrible, but it'll be a trial by fire for sure. So please, just pray for me and the kids I'm taking to camp.

<3 2 <3

2008-07-18T18:21:00.007-04:00

My days lately have been filled with exciting expeditions in Newark, DE, and Elkton, MD. Including random trips to awesome playgrounds and many ghetto parks and some nice marinas. From people with fried fish stuck in their ears who need to go to the ER, to sweet old ladies who just need to go home...I really love my job.

The Best Month Ever.

2008-06-24T16:33:00.002-04:00

So where to begin. Ever since school let out, I've been basically going non-stop until now. I was home for only a week before I left for North Carolina and for Windy Gap which I called "home" for a month. I can't even put into words everything that happened in that month. If you want a full run down of what happened, just ask. But it feels wrong to put it into writing because I don't feel like I can do it justice that way. I don't feel like I came home the same person that I started as, and that is okay because that is something that I asked God to do. I took the past month to grow in my faith and to really get away from the distractions and temptations of home and to just allow God to change me into the man that he wants me to be.

The first week we were there was so long and exhausting I was sure that the next 3 would just kill me. But after I got through the first week, I was so excited for the weeks to come. The first week, we had a Capernaum group come and they were so inspiring. Young Life Capernaum is for mentally and physically disabled kids and they go to camp at the same time as the able-bodied kids and do most of the same things, even the ropes course, zip-line, swing, slide, and Nascarts. Just seeing their leaders interact with them and watching the able-bodied campers just really start loving on them towards the end of the week, and really seeing past their disabilities was just awesome. One of our Summer Staff bosses, Coop, has cerebral palsy and throughout the month he just really opened our eyes and hearts and allowed us to see past the disability and see Gods creation that is underneath.

At the start of week 3, one of our lifeguards, Ben, cut his foot on a rock in the lake and had to get 4 stitches. That put us down to 2 lifeguards (we're supposed to have 4, but only had 3 plus Jen who acted as a "harbor master" and could only rotate to 2 of the 4 positions) and we had our biggest group of 400 campers and the rowdiest. Well during the time when Summer Staff ate lunch, the pool was the only thing open for the kids, and I was on the stand for that hour. It was one of the hardest and most frustrating hours of life guarding that I have had in my 3 years. After I got down from the chair, I had to eat lunch out back of the dining hall b/c there wasn't any room in the dining hall for me and as I was out back, I just reached my breaking point. I was so angry and frustrated and burnt out that I just cried a bit and then prayed a lot. And after that mini-meltdown I felt calm. I later talked to Andrew one of the Summer Staff coordinators and he told me that the only way that God can change us into what He wants us to be, is if we're broken. If we're not broken then we're not really ready to change, and that when I broke down that afternoon, it was so that God can finally change me. That was one of the really defining moments of the month. I really feel more secure in my faith now and realize that we cannot do anything by ourselves and that we should turn to prayer for everything.

The last thing that I'll mention was the night of camp. Andrew and Bethany are from Florida and have been dating for 2 years. Andrew goes to the Naval Academy in Annapolis and Bethany is still in Florida going to school. Well they both came to camp and I really got to see what a Christian couple is supposed to look like. Andrew is such a godly person and they just have the kind of relationship where you know that God is at the center of it and that they're meant to be together. I'll let Bethany tell the story from here:

"On our last night of Summer Staff at Windy Gap, a Young Life camp in North Carolina, Andrew proposed. I knew it was probably going to happen sometime this summer but knew that it would definitely not happen at camp, which was what I was secretly hoping for. I specifically remember telling a handful of people how amazing it would be if that happened at Windy Gap, but knew that he didn’t have a ring or had no way of getting one while we were there so I wasn’t expecting it. He started planning it during the first of four weeks we spent volunteering together there. He called his parents the end of week two and they shipped the ring to camp, he called my dad for permission the end of week three, and worked out all the details throughout the whole month.

Saturday night, June 21st, after all the campers left we had an all camp meeting. He showed up late for it in the nicest clothes he brought with him. I thought that was strange and when I asked he said it was the only clean outfit he had left, which made sense. During the meeting he said that we should go for a walk up the hill, the one where we would hang out and talk every day, so we could have some quality time together before the night got crazy. I thought that was a little strange as well, because we hadn’t been told the plans for the night yet so I wondered how he knew that it would be okay for us to go off on our own and that we weren’t doing something else. I started to get suspicious when he was so persistent that I find a place to put my backpack down. After the fourth time he asked me to put my bag down I gave in and walked towards the leader’s lounge, which was where all of our bags and blankets and pillows were being stored for the night. Once I got there, I saw Laura and Kelsey, two of my dear friends from this month, and told them I thought something was up and they played it off so well. I walked away feeling so silly, like, “what if it doesn’t happen and I see them again in ten minutes, this was no big deal we really did just go on the hill and talk and I got bent out of shape for nothing. I’m going to feel like such an idiot…”

So after my wonderful friends managed not to blow it, I came back outside and met Andrew at the bottom of the hill. I was expecting it to happen then, so when we got up the hill and really did just walk around and sit and talk for a few minutes I was a little disappointed. I told him that he got my hopes up because he was acting funny and I thought he was going to propose. He was so calm cool and collected and said he could see how I would think that, he was sorry that I was disappointed, but that he really did just want to talk for a few minutes by ourselves before we hung out with the group for the night. After we were on the hill for about ten minutes (looking back I remember he looked at his watch an awful lot) we walked back down to meet everyone. I kept thinking about how silly it was for me to think he would propose then, especially since I knew he didn’t have a ring or any way of getting one (He got me good).

So, In the center of camp there is a small lake with an island in the middle of it that extends from the snack shop porch. The plan for the night was to meet there at the snack shop and get free drinks and food and just enjoy each other and have a little party. So as we are walking through camp I was wondering where everyone was and why it was so quiet, and when we got closer to the island I saw a few of our friends holding tiki torches and candles around the lake close to the stairs we were using. Then I heard Ryan Long, the musical guest for the month, singing and thought he was doing some sort of special concert for us and we were late for it. Our friend Tyler was closest to us while we were walking by and I asked him what was going on and he had the hugest smile on his face and said absolutely nothing. Andrew immediately pulled me away from him so we could keep walking towards the island. A few seconds later I saw all of our summer staff friends with tiki torches and candles spread across the entire lake. It hit me when we actually started to walk on the island and I realized what song Ryan was playing, it’s a beautiful love song called Changing Me that he wrote for his wife. It was all so wonderful and so perfect! It all happened so fast from there. When we got on the island he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him and of course I said yes! He slipped the ring on my finger and then all of our great new friends rushed over to congratulate us. The fact that Ryan Long agreed to sing was incredible to me because he has been my favorite musician for six years, since the first time I heard him play at a Young Life camp. I just couldn't believe he agreed to do something so special for us...

We probably hugged 500 times in 10 minutes and after all that hugging we got the go ahead from the crowd that it was okay to “make purple” and kiss (boys are blue, girls are pink, and at Young Life camp it is stressed heavily that there’s no “purple” at camp). Ryan Long continued to play the love songs of his that Andrew requested, Changing Me, Faithful Man, and Mine (and yes, he is on i-tunes so you should download them). During Ryan’s song Mine, we went towards the edge of the island to listen and when the song was over, our good friend Ben hollered to Andrew, “who’s is she?” and he yelled right back, “Mine!” After we were done mingling on the island we actually did go into the snack shop for a party, but it was our engagement party. We were toasted with Welch’s sparkling grape juice by our friends and summer staff coordinators and had an amazing time! Then the empty glass bottle was used to store messages from everyone in (which we read tonight and they were incredibly sweet, so thank you guys!) It was such a fairytale and I couldn’t believe, and still can’t believe, that we are engaged!

It couldn’t have been more perfect and I’m so surprised how everything came together so flawlessly.The effort and thought that went into it was so special and seriously, it couldn’t have been any better. It was the best proposal ever imaginable and I am so incredibly happy to be engaged to such a wonderful man, the love of my life, and the person I couldn’t be happier to spend the rest of my life with. I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow forever and always, Andrew James Lee.

Thank you to everyone who played a part in such a special night in our lives. Earlier that day playing frisbee golf at camp, we were all sad to leave and someone said it was the worst day ever. I heard Andrew yell right away that it was the best day of his life, of course I rolled my eyes not knowing what was to come, but it really was the best day of my life up until now. We loved having everyone be such a big part of that for us. And thank you to all of our wonderful, supportive, and encouraging friends and family who have been with us all along. You guys are great! Be prepared for June of 2010. =)"

I just feel so blessed that I was able to be a part of such a beautiful proposal and cannot wait to June 2010 : ) Well thats it for now, I'm excited to see everyone again and hangout with ya'll!

Later.

The Last

2008-05-16T13:03:00.001-04:00

Goodbye Salisbury, see you in a few.

Busy Beaver

2008-04-23T11:06:00.002-04:00

So yesterday was good. I really enjoy Tuesdays because I don't have classes : ) I still had to wake up at 830 though for my allergy shots, but after I got them I made a list of things to do:
1)Write paper for enviro
a)Make display for paper
2) Read sociology book
3)Write sociology paper
4) Email Dr. Joyner
5) See Dr. C in his office
6) Go to Wal*Mart
7) Make cupcakes

I accomplished some of number 1, some of number 2, did number 4, 6, and 7. So overall I feel like it was a very productive day.

Today I have to finish my enviro paper, which I'm not toooooo worried about. There isn't a minimum page limit that I have to reach, just a maximum of 10 pages and I can guarantee you that I will not exceed the 10 page mark. lol. Today at 2 I have a meeting with Dr. Joyner, he is the head of the Respiratory Therapy program and I just want to talk to him about my options and just to learn more about respiratory.

So yea, there is probably more menial details that I left out, but that's because I'm hungry and have to go meet Paul and Brad for lunch.

Cheers!

RT or RN?

2008-04-20T14:13:00.002-04:00

So first off, I'm not sick anymore! After being sick for a month and having Student Health Services tell me that there isn't anything that they can do for me, I decided to get a second opinion. I drove myself over to Salisbury Immediate Care and waited only for 15minutes before I was seen by a nurse. She took my history and vitals (B/P: 116/68 Resp: 18 P:100 SpO2: 98 Temp: 99.5) and then I waited about 5 minutes before the doctor saw me.

He looked in my ears, nose, throat and said I had a lot of thick mucus draining from my sinuses and that was irritating my throat, which in turn caused it to swell a bit thus pinching my eustachian tube, causing my ears to hurt. The doctor gave me a shot of some natural steroid that your body makes to reduce the swelling and pain in my throat and then gave me a prescription for an antibiotic which would clear up my sinuses.

I left there and tried to get my script filled at Wal*Mart, but just FYI if you're ever trying to use insurance at Wal*Mart, it won't work. They're lame.

So fast forward a few days and spring retreat was good. It was so awesome seeing people that I haven't seen in a while and getting to spend time with them : ) Despite the nasty weather, we all had a good time and I'm really glad that I went. Fast forward to the next week and I was crazy busy studying for tests and reading books and writing papers, now that I got a few of those out of the way things should be a bit better.

Friday, I went to the Orioles/Yankees game with a few friends which was a really good time! I'm apathetic when it comes to sports, but I was rooting for the O's just b/c they're our home team. But unfortunately, I didn't think about what I was wearing and wore my CRU shirt that is navy and white (Yankees colors) and proceeded to get boo'd and heckled the entire time. It was still a lot of fun to get out of Salisbury though.

So right now I should be doing one (or all) of the following things:
1) Showering
2) Reading my book for sociology
3) Returning Juno
4) Doing laundry
5) Studying for my history test that's tomorrow
6) Cleaning my room
7) Going to Wal*Mart b/c I'm out of milk and water and juice

...All of these things I hope to accomplish sometime today either before or after B-Stud.

But instead of doing the aforementioned list of activities, I'm doing research on either being a nurse, or a respiratory therapist. It scares me that up until I learned of respiratory therapy, I was so sure that I wanted to go into nursing...but now, I don't know. I know that either is a good choice, because anything in health care is a good career, but which one do I want to follow? I thought that I liked nursing because I get to take care of people, but then as I'm at the hospital more and more with H2H, I see what the nurses really do and I just don't know if it appeals to me anymore. Taking care of bed sores, wiping poopy butts, dressing wounds and taking vitals. That's mainly what I see when I'm on the floor at PRMC (or anywhere really). Do I really want to do that? I "got my feet wet" in health care through the fire department doing emergency care. Emergency care is what really appeals to me and I just don't see it in the majority of the nurses I see.

Nurses have to know a little bit about the entire body in order to get their license to practice medicine. Respiratory Therapists on the other hand, they need to know a lot about the cardio-pulmonary systems and a little about the rest of the body. Respiratory Therapists are the ones who are called upon in times of crisis and of life-or-death situations. They're the ones that intubate the patient and secure the airway before if becomes compromised. They're the ones that administer breathing treatments to the child who is having an asthma attack and can't breathe. They're the ones that are there in the first moments of life to suction and if necessary, breathe for the newborn baby. They're the ones that fly on the helicopters and ride in ambulances transporting the critically sick and wounded.

To me, Respiratory Therapists are the elite, the Navy SEALS of the medical field. The pay is lower than nurses, and they're often under appreciated until they're needed, but it just seems more "me" then nursing. I don't know, either is a good career, but I just need to pray about it more and give it over to God. I know that he'll pull my heart in the right direction and until then, I'm just going to take the prerequisites for both careers (since they're the same) and just relax.

So this is a really long post, and cheers to you if you made it this far! I'll try to keep this updated more and now that we're all caught up on my life, I'm going to try to be productive today.

~Scott

Still Sick

2008-04-10T09:55:00.002-04:00

So yea, you guessed it...I'm STILL SICK!

My throat is on fire every time I swallow and my ears are hurting too. I went to health services but they said it was allergies and there isn't anything that they can do. :(

All I know is that I'm tired of being sick and if I don't feel better by next week I'm going to a real doctor to get real treatment.

Uggghhhhh

2008-03-31T09:01:00.002-04:00

So I feel like I've been hit by a very large truck. Every joint on my body hurts, from the hairs on my head, to the tips of my toes. I have no clue if I have the flu, or just a killer cold. All I know is that its now been 1 week since I've been sick and its about time that I get better. The only thing that keeps me going is copious amounts of ibprofin and water.

Enough of the pity party, Laura and I are going to see Mitch preform in his school play of Beauty and the Beast tonight!! It's just a dress rehearsal because we won't be in town for the actual show nights, but it should still be fun : )

I have so many projects to do this month its insane! Basically I have something due every week of this month, and I have no weekends to do it. This weekend is North Bay, the following weekend is CRU retreat. And then I'm sure that there are other things going on too. Ugh. lol.

I need to go and read for english and probably find Sudafed.

Spring Break '08

2008-03-26T09:17:00.004-04:00

What can I say? Spring break was one of the most amazing and rewarding things that I've ever done.

We (Brad, Kevin P, Kevin B, and me) left from Salisbury around 330 Friday afternoon and began our 21 hour journey to Florida. After a quick stop at Brad's house for him to pack and for us to eat, we roll up to College Park at 8 and get on the bus with the Jersey kids at 930. I slept from Virginia to South Carolina until we had to stop at 4am to switch drivers, and then I slept again from the driver switch to Georgia when we stopped for breakfast at Cracker Barrel. After breakfast I didn't sleep much the rest of the way. We were stuck in stand-still traffic behind an accident on the interstate somewhere in Florida. Finally we get to Panama City Beach and to the resort around 5pm, 21 hours after we left College Park and 27 hours after we initially began our journey from Salisbury.

The entire week felt like it was just one big party. We woke up every morning and had our quiet time with God, and then made our way to the morning conference where we had worship and a few speakers. We were done by 1130 most mornings and had until 1 to eat lunch and do whatever. At 1pm all 850 of us Big Breakers headed out to our respective places on the 7.8 mile stretch of beach.

The first time that we headed out on the beach to talk to people, I was a bit nervous and skeptical about how things would go. But once I saw how open college kids were to hearing what we had to say, it was really encouraging. I am so glad that I got to go out with Tim on the first day, I really got to know him and he was totally fine with me just playing wingman until I was ready to initiate the convos. Every conversation that we had on the beach through the week was amazing. Yea, we had some people who didn't want to talk to us, but we also had people who were really eager to hear what we had to say.

I'm having a really hard time summing up this week into words, it was just beyond amazing. Us Salisbury guys really got to know each other a lot better this week and were just able to fellowship together which was awesome. I can honestly say that I made 27 genuine friends this week, and they all go to UMD. The college park kids are so chill and I'm seriously going to miss all of them and I cannot wait to see them again at the spring retreat and then again later that month : )

I guess to sum it up, it was truly one of the most spiritually amazing times of my life and I came back a changed man because of it.

For you...

2008-03-13T23:52:00.003-04:00

This is for each and every one of you. Thank you.

I'm Home!!

2008-03-11T12:47:00.003-04:00

Yesterday after class I packed up my things and came home to Harco! Yesterday really feels like it was split into two days, the Salisbury part, and the Harco part. My mom made a really good dinner, I missed her cooking. lol. Then I went up to the firehouse for a gang awareness drill, it was soooo good! Everything at the firehouse is basically the same. The only new things are that they're remodeling the bathrooms and are putting realllllly nice tile down. Its looking good! And we got a new TV in the crew room. Its a frickin huge big screen!!

My main agenda when going up there was to see the new ambo, but alas, it wasn't there : ( The drill on gangs was basically amazing, I learned a lot about the history and organization and what they're doing now.

I came home in a pretty good mood and just chilled, talked online for a bit and then just went to bed. Today I'm studying all day and just relaxing. Tomorrow I have a 1045AM haircut and then court at 130PM. I'm really really nervous/scared. Hopefully it'll all be okay.

Some songs that get me right now are:
1) Fear of Flying -A Rocket to the Moon
2) The Little Things -Colbie Caillat
3) It Matters to Me -Faith Hill
4) Our Time Now -Plain White T's
5) Fake It -Seether
6) Whatever it Takes -Lifehouse
7) I Think About You Everyday -A Rocket to the Moon
8) I'm Last Week - A Rocket to the Moon
9) Baby We're Invincible -A Rocket to the Moon
10) A Winner at a Losing Game -Rascal Flatts

Yesterday

2008-03-09T15:37:00.002-04:00

So yesterday was a little weird.

I was sleeping peacefully up until the roommate rolled in around 0600. I just rolled over and fell back asleep until 0730 when I was awoken by Theresa's lovely voice on the other end of my cell phone calling me into work. I love my job, I really do, but when I haven't heard from an employer for over a month and then be woken up by them after a long night? It was definitely an "uggggg" moment.

So I get called into work from "whenever you can get here, until 7pm." I roll out of bed, shower, get dress and get into work by 0830. Our first call was just a manpower assist for another unit with a 300lb+ patient, we clear from that call and went to get breakfast from this really amazing place right down the road from the station. I got sausage gravy over biscuits with home fries...yummm : ) Our other calls were pretty routine and we got back to the station around 515 to learn that one of us has to drive the ALS unit from PRMC to Johns Hopkins. Ugh. So since my partner had friends coming in from another part of the state, I stepped up and went. After I canceled plans that I had for that night, I drive us from PRMC to Hopkins in about 2 hours and some change. 10-8 from 204 and my partner drives us back from Baltimore as I fall asleep and wake up somewhere around Easton.

After a 14.5 hour work day, I finally clock out and pick up Caren from Robins house and we go find some ice cream and then head up to 3H to chill. Caren falls asleep and Thomas, Alicia, Me, and Sarah just hang out until 330ish when I go home to sleep.

Yup. Today is supposed to be a study day...but minimal studying has been done. Well I'm going to go get a shower and then head to bible study at 5.

Bye.

What?

2008-03-07T22:39:00.001-05:00

What the heck is this? What am I doing?

idk

2008-03-04T19:43:00.002-05:00

I don't know how I feel right now. Normally I can pinpoint why I'm feeling down, but now, I just can't. I feel empty. I feel like something is missing from me. Its really crazy. I have no clue why I'm feeling this way, it just kinda started.

I don't like this.

Long Time, No See

2008-03-04T11:36:00.004-05:00

Hey blogspot, its been awhile! I don't even know how to sum up everything that has been going on since the last time we talked. Certainly its been full of highs and lows, but there have just been so many that its hard to put it all to words. I feel like I've been growing up some lately. So I guess that's cool? I'm finding that I've been drifting away from certain friends, and growing in my relationships with new friends. Its not that I want to completely cut myself off from those friends, its just that I've realized that they have a tendency to hold me back in my walk with God. Its just the little things that they do and say that start to leach into my head, and pretty soon, I'm no better than them. Granted, they have been trying to change, and that's really awesome...but right now I just feel like I'm being led away from them. And speaking of being lead away, that's something that I've recently been trying to do more, give my life over to God and have Him lead me where ever he needs me.

Its just so hard sometimes to give your life over to Him. As humans we like to be in control all the time. But we can't serve two masters. You can't serve God, and serve your own desires at the same time. I've learned that God will never let you fall. While we all slip and trip every now and again, we will never fall so long as we give it all to God.

As always, this post really has no direction or flow, but I like it like that. Its me. Just me. Simple. But am I really that simple? I'd like to think so. But sometimes I just am so worried about pleasing the people I love, that I just screw things up. All I want is for the people around me to be happy. Nothing else matters. As long as they're happy, then I'm happy. Its a trait that I get from my mom. If I see that the people around me are happy, then I'm happy. But if the people around me are sad/upset/angry, then it gets me down too. I wear my heart on my sleeve, sometimes its good, but sometimes it just bites me in the butt.

I've been working a lot lately on being a leader. If you put me in a group situation with a task to get done, generally, I step up and take control. But there are situations where I'm just not sure how to take control. When I don't know what I can do to fix a problem, or how to make someone happy. When I can't read someone well enough to tell what mood they're in, why would I want to take control of that situation? For those situations, I just try to let it go and have them show me what they want. Have them show me how I can make it better. Its like I'm at a fork in the road and I just need their input as to which fork I take.

I need to go and meet Eck for lunch, but its been refreshing venting to you blogspot! Thanks : )

Its gooooood

2008-02-12T11:20:00.000-05:00

So things have been looking up lately...well as far as life is concerned, school is still crap. Over the past few days I've learned a lot about myself, and others. I think that going home last weekend really was a good decision b/c it just let me get away from everything going on here and to let things get worked out by the grace of God. Sometimes when we get frustrated at a problem that we just don't know how to fix, we just need to remove ourselves from the situation and leave it to God. This post isn't living up to what I wanted it to be, but that's b/c of time constraints. I have to meet Paul for lunch in 5minutes so I guess I should have waited to do this later. Lol. Oh well. Have an awesome day, I know I plan to : )

Crap

2008-02-04T17:56:00.000-05:00

How can I go from being on top of the world, to being mud under someones shoe, in less than a few days time? Unlike many other times, I didn't bring this upon myself. This isn't something I wished for. This isn't something that I planned to happen...it just did. Now, I'm not one who regrets...but I'm a hell of a fan of do-overs. Can I use mine now?

Faith

2008-02-03T12:39:00.000-05:00

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

Past

2008-01-31T18:42:00.000-05:00

How much energy do we spend on wishing things were how they used to be, thinking that our best days may be behind us? Maybe if we’re too hung up on the past, we fail to live our lives to the fullest, right here, right now.

College

2008-01-29T16:36:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I lied about updating everyday. Oh well.

Move-In Day
Friday started off bright and early at 5am as we loaded up the van in the pre-dawn light. We hit up Bob Evans on the way to SU and get to snowy Salisbury around 930am. Now I know that its possible to make the drive in 1hour and 59minutes, but we took our time. Salisbury was covered in about and inch of snow and a 1/4inch of ice, which made maneuvering around the parking lot and in front of the dorms quite interesting. lol. I check in with the RA and am shown to my sweltering hot-box that is my home for the next however many months. I do the whole unpacking thing while my mom cleans the bathrooms and kitchen, and my dad hooks up my computer. We eventually make our way to get my parking permit and then do the welcome ceremony and stuff, my mom says a tearful goodbye and they leave to go home. Everyone new in Chesapeake had to eat with the RAs at dinner, so we do that and I head back to my room and sleep through the other activities of the night.

Day 1
We all had to be in Maggs by something like 9am to do 2 hours of "team-building" activities. While it sounds gay and like a wast of time, it really wasn't that bad. Yea, it was kind of lame, but it was a good way to meet people and such. Variations of the "team-building" went on all day long and ended around 5 for dinner. Again, I didn't go to the activities that night and instead met my roommate and then went to sleep.

Day 2
Everyone came down today!!! First Paul arrived, followed by Caren and then Sarah and Brad. Helped them move in and stuff and then met my other 6 roommates who all seem nice. Got books and such and just did some hanging out.

Day 3
Today was the first day of classes...ugh. lol. Sociology at 8am is going to get old. We have to read some book for that class and do a paper on it. Chemistry is going to kick my butt, I'm already regretting taking that class, but I have to for my major. English is chill, my teacher brought in donuts for us all and we just sat and discussed the class. I had a short break and then went to history. That class should be okay, the teacher seems like a good guy. Chilled the rest of the day and then watched Finding Nemo!!! Best movie ever.

Day 4
Today I only had one class, my STARS Habitat class. Its going to be easy, I think we're going to have some fun in that class. lol. Today I started some Chem homework, but its just so time consuming that I lost focus and went to get food with Brad. I need to get that done, but I have to wait until I can get my books from the the neighbors.

So yea, that's been my life in a nutshell : )

No title

2008-01-26T23:25:00.001-05:00

I'm nervous...really nervous.

Leaving

2008-01-24T23:12:00.000-05:00

So in about 6 hours, we're leaving for Salisbury. I have mixed emotions about this.

It seems like I've been looking forward to this day since forever, but now that its here, I don't really want to leave. I don't want to have to leave my room, my fish, my dog, my family. I don't want to leave my co-workers, my friends, my life. I know that things will be fine once I get moved in and I get a routine established, but I really don't want to do the "freshman activities" that they have planned for us. I know its a good way to meet people, but I don't know. I guess I'll just play it by ear and see if I'm up to it.

I may not be sure of a lot of things lately, but one thing that I AM sure of, is that I'm sick and tired of hearing, "suck it up" or, "just deal with it." Seriously? Ya think? Is that really the best advice you can give me? Gosh, would have been better off saying nothing at all instead of that crap. I know that some things you just have to "deal" with. But show some compassion, at least pretend to care.

This post has no direction, its more of a stream of consciousness thing. I can't wait until everyone gets down to school, I'll feel a little bit better once my friends show up. And I'm not going to have my car at first, my dad wants to get the transmission looked at and hopefully fixed before I take the car down. We already paid for the spot, so we'll register the car tomorrow, and Brad will drive it down when he comes back to school after Chelen's dance which is somewhere around the 14th.

Well I'm done for tonight, I think I'll start posting every day or so and update on classes and such. Wish me luck tomorrow...Lord knows that I'll need it.

While reading, it struck me...

2008-01-19T22:56:00.000-05:00

Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

SDFLSFLKJHSDFKH

2008-01-18T19:54:00.000-05:00

Could today have been worse? I'm pretty sure now that I just said that, it will get worse.

Later ya'll.

That Old Piece of Paper...

2008-01-16T22:57:00.001-05:00

So earlier I was going through my room, and found an old folded piece of paper from one of my discipleship lessons. The papers is titled, "A Biblical Profile of a Disciple" and I'd like to share it with you:

The Biblical Profile of a Disciple:

1. A disciple is a learner—open and teachable. (Proverbs 9:8-10; Matthew 4:19; John 6:60-66).

2. A disciple puts Christ first in all areas of his/her life. (Matthew 6:9-13, 24, 33; Luke 9:23; John 13:13)

3. A disciple is committed to a life of purity and is taking steps to separate from sin. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Ephesians 4:22-5:5; Colossians 3:5-10; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7; Titus 2:12-14)

4. A disciple has a daily devotional time and is developing in his/her prayer life. (Psalm 27:4; 42:1-2; Mark 1:35; Luke 11:1-4; 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18; James 1:5-7; 5:16)

5. A disciple demonstrates faithfulness and a desire to learn and apply the Word of God through hearing it preached and taught, reading it frequently, Bible study, Scripture memory, and meditation on the Scriptures. (John 8:31; Acts 2:42; 17:11; Colossians 3:16; 2 Timothy 2:15)

6. A disciple has a heart for witnessing, gives his/her testimony clearly, and presents the gospel regularly with increasing skill. (Matthew 28:18-20; Acts 1:8; 5:42; 14:21-23; 22:14-15; Romans 1:16; 1 Corinthians 15:3-4; 1 Thessalonians 2:4)

7. A disciple attends church regularly to worship God, to have his spiritual needs met, and to make a contribution to the body of believers. (Psalm 122:1; Acts 16:5; 1 Corinthians 12:12-27; Colossians 1:15-18; Hebrews 10:25)

8. A disciple fellowships regularly with other believers, displaying love and unity. (John 17:22-26; Acts 2:44-47; 4:31-33; Ephesians 4:1-3; Hebrews 10:24; 1 John 1:1-3)

9. A disciple demonstrates a servant heart by helping others in practical ways. (Mark 10:42-45; Acts 6:1-4; 2 Corinthians 12:15; Philippians 2:25-30; 1 Thessalonians 2:8-9).

10. A disciple gives regularly and honors God with his/her finances. (Haggai 1:6-9; Malachi 3:10-11; 1 Corinthians 16:1-2; 2 Corinthians 8-9; Philemon 14)

11. A disciple demonstrates the fruit of the Spirit by an attractive relationship with Christ and his/her fellow disciples. (Acts 16:1-2; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7; Galatians 5:22-23; 1 Peter 2:18-23; 2 Peter 1:5-8)

After reading that, I realize how far away I am from being a disciple. I mean, I'm not a bad Christian...its just that there are some areas mentioned above that I really need to work on. For example, some of the areas that I know that I need to focus on are:

Number 4) A disciple has a daily devotional time and is developing in his/her prayer life. (Psalm 27:4; 42:1-2; Mark 1:35; Luke 11:1-4; 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18; James 1:5-7; 5:16)

I read my Bible. Do I have a set time that I read it? No. I always think to myself while I'm laying in bed awake at night, "I could use this time to read His word." But then I also think, "Where is my Bible? Oh, its in my car..." or something along those lines. I need to stop finding excuses for things, and just do it. This not only applies to reading His word, but to other areas of my life as well. I always find myself trying to make excuses for others' behavior, "Oh he/she didn't mean that, he/she was just having a bad day." But when things happen over and over, I need to realize that its not just a "bad day".

Anyway, sorta got off topic. lol.

Also I realize that I need to work on number 7:

A disciple attends church regularly to worship God, to have his spiritual needs met, and to make a contribution to the body of believers. (Psalm 122:1; Acts 16:5; 1 Corinthians 12:12-27; Colossians 1:15-18; Hebrews 10:25)

I really need to work on this one. It seems to come back to me making excuses not to go. I really do enjoy going to church, its just that I really hate going alone. I know, it shouldn't be an issue, but it is for me. Its not that its a "social" time or anything, I just like being able to go with someone. And when I don't have anyone to go with, or no one wants to go, I make excuses. I say, "Oh well, I went to discipleship the other night, so its okay." Or I say, "Oh, well I read my Bible every night this past week." Or some other lame excuse.

No one is perfect, I know that. I just want to be able to be at the place where I roughly fit the profile of a disciple.

This is a really random post, but that's just me I guess...

Lets Do This...

2008-01-15T23:23:00.001-05:00

So this is my second blog attempt. I had my Xanga blog for the longest time...actually since freshman year of high school, however, I went through periods of using it and then even longer periods of neglecting it. So here's hoping for the former, rather than the latter. I truly blame Caren for this blog, for she is the sole reason for my creating it. But who knows, maybe it'll be good for me to blog here and there. I guess it'll be cool to start this blog thing, and start college at roughly the same time; maybe I'll look back on these blogs and be reminded of the past. Anyway, thats enough for now.